BLIND
by ShionShirosaki
Summary: [ONESHOT/ANGST/GRIMMICHI/GRIMMIXSHIRO] I had a twin. We were unusually similar, and at the same time, horrifyingly different. We were mirrors. The other side mirrors the light, the other mirrors the darkness. A symmetrical balance if I must say so. But because of love… …the balance was ruined.


**Blind (ONESHOT)**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I do… _not_ own. TT^TT

**Warning**: Swearing, Angst, OOC, Bastards, and of course, we shouldn't forget the major warning =w=!

"The authoress is insane and evil and hungry."

…They do say I'm quite the eating machine when I'm hungry so… does that count? OwO"

**A/N**: ANGST, ANGST, ANGST! I DEMAND FOR MORE ANGST!

**Akashi**: *throws Shiro inside her bedroom and locks it* Leave the woman be. She just entered the 'sugar rush' mode.

**Shiro**: LEETT MEE OUUTTT! GIVE ME MY ICE CREAAAAAMMM! *sobs*

**A&S**: Please enjoy!

(**Shiro**: Smile, Akashi, damn it!) (**Akashi**: Tell me that when Ishida Uryuu turns into a girl in the manga. -_-)

* * *

…

_I had a twin._

_We were unusually similar, and at the same time, horrifyingly different._

_We were mirrors._

_The other side mirrors the light, the other mirrors the darkness._

_A symmetrical balance if I must say so._

_But because of love…_

_…the balance was ruined._

…

Despite how much naïve and careless my friends claim myself to be, I **_wasn't_** –for the love of God- blind**.**

I could see it without having to consult anyone.

I could see it without having to ask them.

It was so easy to see.

…As easy to see a spot of black in the midst of white.

…As easy to see a ray of light within the darkness.

It was so damn easy to see that it _fucking _hurt.

In all honesty _and_ modesty, my logical side thinks that I have deserved better than _this._

I couldn't help but think that…

…maybe if he wasn't the person that I loved…

…maybe… the balance wouldn't have tipped.

Maybe… things… would've remained unchanged.

…

But as far as I could see…

…there were no chances of pressing the 'rewind' button in the remote in our lives.

In fact, I see no other choice but to continue watching as our lives played.

…I had never prayed so hard… wishing that time could just wind back even for a moment…

…Maybe then, I would've had the chance to take the other path which would hurt me less.

I know that it's selfish of me to think of things this way.

But I think that at the very least, I was given the satisfaction of hoping, no?

…

**After all, my lover just fell in love with my twin.**

…

And, no, don't even start thinking how that bastard of a retard got me mixed up with Shiro.

Our differences were blatantly apparent and clear.

I was Shiro's opposite, yet at the same time, I was his spitting image.

He was pale; I was slightly tan.

His hair was the color of the snow; mine was the vibrant color of orange.

His eyes were golden; mine were hazel.

He loved bloodshed; I hated unnecessary fights.

He hated going outside; I was the outdoor type of person.

He was cruel and twisted; I was above average.

…

_What is in there to get us mixed up?_

_What have I done to deserve this?_

**Was it my fault?**

...

_I had a twin._

He was _Shirosaki Hichigo._

_I had a lover._

He was _Grimmjow Jaegerjaques._

…

**My twin and my lover fell in love with each other.**

…

…

I didn't like holding grudges.

It gives me this heavy weight on my chest that threatens to turn my heart into shredded meat whenever I did.

But I didn't like letting people do as they please either.

I had this tendency to feel obligated to smash assholes' heads into the ground so hard that they'd be seeing Hell.

…

I am a walking contradiction indeed.

…

If I understood correctly, they have yet to know that I already knew about their secret relationship.

I had no intention of letting them know that I knew.

Because, to be blunt, I don't know what I should do.

Not because I was hurt, but because I simply had no idea what I should do.

…

_I'd feel awkward._

Like, seriously…

You just had yourself cheated on by your lover who in turn actually loved your _twin_.

…Sure, brother, I'd get, but… **_twin_**?

…Fuck, that is so motherfucking awkward that I couldn't bring myself to think about it _at all_.

…

Perhaps, I'd appear to be giving thought about this shit way _too much_.

And as an act of reimbursement towards myself, I let it drop.

…

What was the use of trying to force yourself on someone who doesn't love you anymore?

And what was the use of blaming your twin for falling in love?

…

**Utter bullshit this is.**

…

…

I wasn't tolerant.

I didn't have the patient of a Saint.

Thus, it was completely predictable if I chose to stay away without telling them anything.

Luckily, it seemed like the higher beings up there in heaven decided to give me a chance when Rukia called, offering a job offer in America.

It wasn't too bad.

Hell, it was above '_excellent_'.

The offered job, as Rukia have stated, was to work under her older brother as his secretary.

In other words, I'll be working as Kuchiki Byakuya's secretary.

It wasn't exactly a thing to brag about, considering how Byakuya has something stuck up in his ass.

Possibly a cactus or the tallest pole ever known to mankind.

…Ahem.

Anyway, the point is, it was a one chance handed to me with one bullet.

All that was left was for me to shoot it head on without any complications and obstacles and I'm free to go…

…But, wait…

I sort of remembered how I didn't tell Grimmjow that we were over.

…Hm.

Well, whatever.

He didn't tell me he loved Shiro, so I guess we're even.

**No hard feelings, bitch.**

…

…

I sat at the passenger's seat in the taxi, enjoying the scenery presented to me.

I had already contacted my friends about the job offer, and they knew better than to rant off about it.

Of course, the two love birds didn't know.

I snorted at that.

Love birds, eh?

…

…

Music blasted through my ears as I intentionally increased the volume of music being transmitted through the black headphones I wore as I stood near the airport's entrance.

Right now, it was playing '**Just give me a reason**' by P!nk.

…

_Oh the fucking irony!_

The lyrics just gave me the impression of a couple asking for a reason in order to maintain their relationship; to stop it from crumbling into nothingness.

Out of nowhere, my mind seemed to say:

_'Ha, desperate times call for desperate measures!'_

I unintentionally supplied out loud to myself:

"Just give me a reason why you're asking for a reason when in all honesty, it wouldn't work out anymore."

…

And as if fate would love to add more twists and curls in my already colorful and curly life, the call of my name with those two voices which I learned to hate echoed in my ears as I heard them approach.

"Ichigo!"

"King!"

…

**_FUCK._**

…

-And as if to mock me, Rukia suddenly appeared out of nowhere, calling me while flailing her arms wildly in the air.

It was a race.

Of course, this was a race to freedom.

I won't be giving this one up _no matter what._

As I ran towards Rukia, I caught a glimpse of Grimmjow's face from the reflection of whatever it was.

…Instead of feeling hurt, I actually wanted to laugh at the hilarious expression he wore.

I have given up on him entirely, I noticed.

…Not that I minded.

It was better than feeling guilty and hurting in the inside when I shouldn't be.

…

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I quickly opened the message which came from Rukia.

'_The airport was only a meeting place-pyon!_

_The real ride is waiting way off beside this place-pyon!_

_It's a race towards stairway to heaven-pyon!'_

I groaned.

I ran faster, my grasp on my luggage quite firm and tight.

Instead of pulling from behind, I was pushing it forward like a trolley.

Seriously, if I pulled, they would have the chance of actually catching me with the bag.

Anyway, my guess was that we were riding a helicopter towards _another_ place.

Stairway to heaven equals ladders in the sky.

So, I hate to admit this, but Rukia had predicted this.

She knew it would happen so she intentionally told me to go to the airport in order to mislead them when they come.

Suddenly, I caught sight of the ropes and I resisted the urge to do the Harlem Shake.

…I had no fucking idea why I even thought of it…

To my advantage, there was a small group of people crowding in front of me.

I squeezed through them, momentarily making them loose me.

I wore my hood and quickly grabbed another jacket from the bag.

Orange hair was gone from their sight, meaning that if they ever find me, it would be through God's will-

"ICHIGO! WAIT!"

…Talk about miracles.

I was already at the edge of the ladder and I could see Rukia from the top of the helicopter.

Unluckily for me, I was at the edge of the ladder, which was within their reach from below.

Rukia professionally made her way down to grab my luggage –she sure is _used _to this- and went back up.

I was left staring at 2 pairs of hurt eyes.

"What the fuck are you two doing here?" I asked dully, my hair whipping around from the strong gust of air from above.

Shiro flinched.

"Ichi…"

"If you think that I'd be changing my fucking mind soon, get real, fuckers."

Cussing was definitely helping me at the very moment.

Thank you very much.

This way, I could tell them how much I was hurting.

…

A droplet of water collided with the ground and I stared, surprised.

_Oh, fuck no. I…_

_I was…_

"…T-tears?" Grimmjow mumbled, eyes wide.

They probably didn't notice.

But I did.

**I wasn't blind.**

…

…

_They were holding hands._

…

…

Realizing that the necklace I was currently wearing was given to me by Grimmjow; I decided to do something dramatic for once.

I hopped off the ladder, surprising everyone.

But what surprised them more was the fact that I tugged the necklace off my neck with one pull, destroying the chains in a blink of an eye.

…

…

3 simple words were whispered.

…

…

**[****_"I hate you."_****]**

...

…

Then…

…I threw the necklace at his face.

I didn't shout.

I didn't cuss.

But that didn't deter the hurt and the anger.

…

No matter what I did and thought to myself, it still hurt.

I have loved him once, after all.

And who knows… maybe I _still_ do.

I jumped back on the ladder and turned around, facing my twin.

…

The symmetrical balance had long since tipped over.

He had won.

What else did he want?

…

I gazed at him from the corner of my right eye, before I sighed.

Dramatic goodbyes are in order, it seems.

I firmly gripped the rope with my left hand, while my right hand reached out to my twin.

Then, as gently yet as coldly as I could…

…I pushed.

"**_Sayonara._**"

He fell back as the helicopter departed, taking me with it.

The image of a helpless Grimmjow Jaegerjaques and a hurt Shirosaki Hichigo did nothing to call any pitiful thoughts.

…

I wasn't blind.

I could see how they loved each other.

I could see how they truly cared for me.

I could see how they too had loved me.

And they too saw how hurt I was.

…

It was fair, don't you think?

All this time, I knew because I could see it.

And all this time, they didn't see how much I saw.

…I wasn't blind, dammit.

**-END-**

**A/N:** *cries* TT^TT I'm sorry if this story was… _a little (?)…_ Messed up… I haven't slept for 20 hours and I only ate once –and a tad bit of ice cream sure but it obviously isn't enough for such a hungry monster like me-! I'm in survival mode right now… and that means more headaches and more eye-drooping-low-moments for me… 3

I hope you liked it…? *sheepish smile* =)

* * *

**_=Behind the scenes with Akashi and Shiro=_**

**Shiro**: Oh God, oh God… I CAN'T FIND IT! ( 3q3)

**Akashi**: What the actual fuck, woman? (._. )

**Shiro: **…I… sort… of slept while typing and… ( 3o3)

**Akashi: **What the hell is with all those threes? (o_o )

**Shiro:** THOSE ARE MY GODDAMNED EYES WITHOUT MY GLASSES, YOU DIMWIT! ( 3A3) *throws books*

**Akashi: ** (Oh, so she lost her glasses…) *dodges books* *steps on something*

**_CRACK!_**

**_…_**

**SILENCE.**

**Akashi and Shiro**: OOOHHHH FUUUUCCKKKK! ( 3O3) –destroyed glasses- (O.O )


End file.
